While driving through a Central American country, one of the first things I noticed was the dried up vegetation and dustiness of the land. Although we were told that in merely a few weeks the vegetation would be green and lush, it currently looked brown and dormant. It was a scene of houses made of unpainted wood and sometimes metal, landscapes of just dirt or sometimes brown vegetation and fences of barbed wire or wood. It seemed everywhere I looked was bleak and saddening. Then all of a sudden I noticed these beautiful flowers of purple growing along the fence of a house and slowly began noticing them along the fences of almost every house. Among a background of brown these vibrant flowers were like a breath of fresh air.
I began thinking about these flowers that seemed to thrive while most vegetation looked like it was hanging on for dear life. I inquired about them and was told they were Bougainvilleas, that they only bloom during the dry season and while most vegetation is lush these plants are like flowerless vines. This made me recall the last few months where I felt like I was dormant and immobilized in my circumstances. Struggling to bridge the gap of what I know in my heart to be true and what was occurring psychologically. I was like the dusty, dried up ground vegetation hanging on for dear life. It was only in the few weeks approaching this trip that I felt as though I was breaking through these walls. And more than that, had felt God was revealing to me some of the reasons He had allowed certain events which forced me to depend on Him and trust in His plan for me. Knowing He is always in control even when I can’t see past the darkness surrounding me. In my life He was that element that was making these flowers bloom amongst these normally hostile conditions.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
I had realized entering into this trip that without these difficult situations I had been placed in, I would have been coming from a very different place both spiritually and mentally. It had been easy for me to say I trust God all the while clutching on to some of the control. But these circumstances had brought me to my knees and showed me how powerless I truly am while He allowed me a glimpse of His power. So that while on this trip I truly could acknowledge that I was not in control at all but could rest in the peace of knowing that He was completely in control.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” Isaiah 43:1b-2
Without Him my life would be like that colorless scene of dried up vegetation, but walking with Him is what allows those flowers in me to bloom and grow.